Dear diary, No lessons today. I will just eat breakfast and pack my bags to go to my parents house for the weekend. I have to go there because I have an appointment at the bank weirdly enough. Tomorrow I will stay there because I am also going to a quiz. I am pretty excited for that. But first today.
The outfit of today is still me-made. I am wearing my sky blue pants, a white t-shirt, a white sweater and then a vest with a mushroom pattern on top of it. I feel pretty good, but sadly I never added any pockets to these pants. I will have to wear my jacket an use those pockets the whole day. Kind of annoying, but I'll manage. I also have to decide already what I want to take with me to wear tomorrow, but I think I already know.
I am deciding whether I still want to do some things here first, like going to the library or going for a walk or just studying a little bit. I will think about it some more during breakfast.
My therapist and I have talked a few times before about some symptoms of autisms I have. One of the ones I notice most often is that i am very bad at reading non-verbal queues. I have been thinking about this a lot lately and especially I have been feeling a bit weird because now I notice people talking about 'well he could totally have noticed I was not fine when I said I was fine' and I just think; I wouldn't have noticed that. It makes me scared that I am a bad friend. My friends talk about how people on dates should know how interested the other party is, about 'friends' who don't notice how they are percieved,... I used to not notice those stories as anything special, but now they make me really insecure. I have just slowly been introducing the idea of that not everyone can notice subtle clues like that and luckely they have been really nice about it. They even make sure to tell me things more directly! But when we talk about other people, it seems those expectations are back and then it just seems difficult to believe that they are truly gone for me.
Anyway I will be talking about that in therapy tomorrow. For now, I will go eat breakfast.